Last Updated: June 30, 2026
Despite dementia being considered the biggest health and social crisis in the UK, a lack of understanding around the condition still exists. This impacts relationships for those living with the condition and places barriers between families who want nothing more than to remain connected. Here, Clare McCourt offers advice for maintaining family relationships when dementia gets in the way.
At Alderbrook Care Home, we know how crucial it is for families to stay bonded to their loved one living with dementia. Through our “Talk to Me” campaign, we aim to support and educate families on how to keep these connections strong while ensuring residents stay at the heart of their own life story. So, to make visits more meaningful for everyone, here are some top tips on how to interact with someone living with dementia.
Understanding and accepting dementia
Firstly, it is essential to understand and accept what a diagnosis of dementia means. Dementia affects memory, thinking and behaviour. This makes communication harder over time. Every person’s experience is unique, so it’s important to be patient and adaptable while accepting that some of your loved one’s personality traits will change. Remember, although communication can be challenging, the need for love and connection never changes. Recognising this is the first step to retaining a strong bond and working towards forming a new special relationship.
Regular visits and quality time
We know that for our residents at Alderbrook Care Home, frequent visits can provide stability and comfort. Try to focus entirely on your loved one during the visit. Turn off your phone and be present. Shorter, more frequent visits can be better than longer, infrequent ones. This helps to keep interactions positive without overwhelming either of you. Some of our families also like to bring along a familiar object which can help their loved one to recognise them more easily and remind them of past memories.
Take it slow and actively listen
Communication can be challenging which often leaves relatives with a deep sadness but there are ways to make it easier. Use clear, simple sentences and speak slowly with your loved one. Non-verbal cues like smiling, maintaining eye contact and gentle gestures can also help convey warmth and understanding. Give your loved one time to express themselves and listen attentively, focusing on the emotional content of their words, even if it is hard to make sense of what they are saying. They will feel your interest and feel valued in your presence.
Walk down memory lane, together
Talking about past experiences can be a powerful way to connect with someone with dementia. Why not bring along a family photo album or create a memory book to discuss people and events? You could play music from their past to help evoke key memories and emotions. Or share stories from their youth or significant life events to help trigger positive memories. We help our families to understand that there are lots of ways to connect, they just look different to before.
Work as a team
Participating in activities together can strengthen your bond and provide cognitive stimulation for people living with dementia. Simple crafts like colouring or knitting can be enjoyable. If your loved one likes gardening, help them tend to plants or flowers. Choose puzzles and games that match their cognitive abilities to help make the activities fun and mentally stimulating. It can often be forgotten that people living in care homes still want to be challenged and it is the responsibility of care providers to help them retain this sense of independence and autonomy for as long as possible.
Embrace technology
When in-person visits are not possible, technology can be a real blessing. Regular video calls help to maintain visual and auditory connections and sharing digital photos or short videos of family events and pets keep your loved one at the heart of their family.
Hold on to their personality
The environment in which a dementia resident lives plays a crucial role in their wellbeing. Personalise their living space with familiar items, photos and mementos that reflect their personality. Establish a routine that includes regular visits and activities to reduce anxiety and confusion. Bring in comfort items like a favourite blanket or pillow to provide familiarity and security – all of this can make a difference to how they feel and interact with you.
Be patient and encouraging
Providing emotional support to your loved one is essential. Show empathy and validate their feelings, even if their reality differs from yours. Practise patience and try to accept that changes in their behaviour is a symptom of their condition, not a sign that you are losing them completely. Amongst the confusion that dementia brings, celebrate moments of clarity and connection, as these can be deeply meaningful for both of you and will keep you connected.
Look after yourself
Don’t hesitate to seek help when needed. Supporting a loved one with dementia is a life changing experience and for some families counselling is helpful to cope with the emotional challenges it brings. Communicate regularly with care home staff to stay informed about your loved one’s condition and get advice on how to support them – we hold regular meetings with all of our relatives to ensure they are supported and included in our decision making which helps them understand how their loved one’s condition is developing.
Build a community of support
Creating a network of support can be incredibly beneficial. Connecting with other families who are going through similar experiences can provide comfort and practical advice. At Alderbrook, we host regular family support meetings where relatives share their experiences, learn from others and gain new insights. These meetings can be a great way to build friendships and find solidarity in the shared journey of caring for a loved one with dementia, as well as building an understanding of the condition.
Undoubtedly, connecting with a loved one with dementia requires patience, creativity, and understanding. It is a complex journey with no clear signposts along the way. However, by implementing these tips, families can maintain meaningful relationships and provide crucial emotional support to their loved one which despite it all is always a relative’s ultimate wish. We help to achieve this for our families and relatives at Alderbrook Care Home and will continue this commitment through our ‘Talk to Me’ campaign, focussed on ensuring that our residents continue to feel connected, valued and loved, and deeply rooted in their own life story.
