Last Updated: July 24, 2026
Summary
- Changes in how a loved one acts are caused by damage to the brain, meaning it is vital to remember they are not to blame.
- Seeking early dementia behaviour support from professionals and charities helps prevent crisis situations for everyone involved.
- Exploring non-drug strategies and finding external care options can give both you and your loved one a much-needed break.
Beth Britton writes about how dementia can change a person’s behaviour and how to provide the best support as a family member
It can be really worrying when you start to notice a loved one’s behaviour changing. Accessing dementia behaviour support early is vital, as the world can become increasingly confusing and distressing for them as their condition progresses.
I know we found it difficult when my dad’s behaviour started to change. Initially he just became more reclusive, but that progressed to barricading doors and believing that people on TV were real, in the room and either a friend (which just meant not sitting in their chair and making sure they had a place at the table) or a foe (which resulted in expressions of anger and my dad feeling threatened).
As dad’s dementia progressed, he did at one point try to strangle someone in his first care home. He also smashed a TV onto the floor, although I took this as him not wanting the TV and we got him a CD player instead, with music becoming a wonderful escape and communication method for him.
Understanding changed behaviour and dementia behaviour support
Dementia brings numerous physical and mental health challenges for anyone living with any of the 100+ types of dementia. Alongside losing memories, changes associated with behaviour are amongst the most talked about and distressing symptoms. They are often also very stigmatising and isolating both for the person and those closest to them.
People often label the person as having ‘challenging behaviour’, or use more specific terms like agitation or aggression. However, with the advent of Dementia Language Guidelines we’ve been asked to reframe this terminology by people living with dementia. For me, this process begins with understanding why a person’s behaviour may change when they have dementia.
Why behaviour changes and the need for dementia behaviour support
As any type of dementia progresses more parts of the person’s brain become damaged. Different parts of the brain regulate different functions, and amongst these is behaviour. This can affect a person in any number of ways, the common ones being that the person may verbally or physically express themselves in ways they haven’t before – for example shouting or swearing, pushing others away or throwing items. The person may lose inhibitions, which can be particularly common in frontotemporal dementia, they may struggle with paranoia and hallucinations (like my dad did) or they may experience restlessness, feeling that they need to be constantly on the go, even during the night, and find concentration difficult.
Changes in behaviour may also manifest themselves in ways that are talked about less – for example the person experiencing anxiety or becoming quieter or withdrawn. It is, however, just as important for us to recognise, understand and support both subtle and more overt changes in behaviour.
Effective dementia behaviour support for changed behaviour
Because changed behaviour can manifest itself in many different ways, responses need to be individualised to each person and their experiences to have the best chances of success. However, there are some overarching principles to help families:
- Don’t blame the person. This is really difficult if you are a family carer and trying to cope alone with little or no support. It’s so important to remember that whatever behaviour your loved one is experiencing it’s A) going to be due to the damage their dementia is causing in their brain and isn’t about the person trying to annoy or upset you, and B) incredibly difficult for the person themselves. In this Care Choices blog I shared Sheila’s experiences of supporting her husband. If you’re living Sheila’s experiences today, know that you are not alone.
- Seek support. Many family carers try to cope alone out of fear of being judged. I would urge any family carer to seek professional dementia behaviour support from Admiral Nurses and Dementia Carers Count at their earliest opportunity. Without good coping strategies that are personalised to each person, things can escalate to a crisis situation for everyone involved.
- Find strategies that will help the person. This will often come from having the conversations suggested above, and will mostly revolve around understanding the need behind the person’s behaviour and supporting them in different ways. Non-drug therapies are often more helpful than medication. A person with dementia needs a way to express themselves that won’t involve upsetting verbal or physical expression, and there is great work going on around therapies including art, music, dance, exercise, reminiscence and sensory to name just a few.
- Obtain professional care/support. Having a professionally trained care worker, companion or even a befriender can make a big difference to the dynamic between a person who has dementia and their family carer. The input of someone with different skills and experience, who can model different approaches and provide advice for a family carer, is really important. It’s also a chance for a person with dementia and their family carer to have a break from each other.
- Discover additional ideas/information online. This isn’t easy if you’re overwhelmed and finding you have no time to yourself, but discovering ways to understand what is happening to your loved one and how you can work with them differently can be a real lightbulb moment that makes caring easier. This Teepa Snow film is one example that may help you find that lightbulb moment
Further sources of support
The Alzheimer’s Society – Behaviour changes
Dementia UK – Health advice
Dementia UK – Living with dementia (including: Keeping safe when you care for someone with dementia and Changes in sexual behaviour).
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is my loved one’s behaviour changing with dementia?
Behaviour changes usually happen because dementia damages the brain regions controlling judgment, communication, and impulse control. Often, these changes signal an unmet need like fear or pain, rather than intentional bad behaviour. Understanding this underlying distress is the first step toward effective dementia behaviour support.
What should I do when a person with dementia becomes aggressive?
It is important to stay calm, give them space, and avoid arguing in the heat of the moment. Look for immediate triggers such as an infection, a noisy room, or feeling rushed during personal care. If the situation escalates and safety is at risk, you should always seek urgent medical help.
Do non-drug approaches work better than medication for dementia behaviour?
Yes, medical experts generally recommend trying person-centred, non-drug approaches first before considering any medication. Establishing calming routines, introducing music therapy, and improving communication can significantly reduce distress. Medications are typically a last resort and require strict specialist oversight due to their potential risks.
When should I call the doctor about sudden behaviour changes?
If you notice sudden or rapidly worsening behaviour changes, you should arrange a medical assessment right away. A doctor can help rule out easily treatable causes like a urinary tract infection (UTI), constipation, or adverse medication side effects. Sudden change is a clear warning sign that requires prompt attention rather than waiting it out.
Should I correct someone with dementia if they are being irrational?
Usually, it is better not to correct or argue with them, as arguing tends to increase their anxiety. Dementia limits their ability to follow complex logic or remember recent conversations accurately. Instead, try to validate their feelings and gently redirect their attention to a calming or familiar activity.
